Choosing Yourself in the Moment – Forming New Habits Through Accountability

You know those moments when life literally hands you a choice, and you feel that little tug inside? Which way should I go- the easy way or the aligned way? That tug is accountability knocking.

It shows up in all kinds of situations. For me, it first appeared when I first began meditating. I’d sit down, and a flood of feelings would rush in: This is scary. I don’t like it. What if I go somewhere and never come back? What’s the point? This is boring. This is never going to work. etc.

It was in those moments that I realized: if I didn’t try something new, the same cycle of panic and anxiety would just keep repeating. So, I stayed with it- even if it was just ten minutes, even if it was uncomfortable. Over time, those small consistent choices rewired my nervous system and showed me I could trust myself to face discomfort and grow.

The tug showed up again with finances. Imagine being invited to a destination wedding wjile knowing you’ve got a necessary gum surgery coming up. Saying yes would blow your budget. It would be fun, comfortable, easy..but deep down I knew that sticking with my financial goal mattered more. So I took a deep breath , declined the invitation and kept moving forward. That’s accountability: hard, uncomfortable, but rewarding.

And then there are relationships…. You arrive at a place where you notice you don’t have a “type”- but rather a pattern. Familiar, cozy, distracting, but misaligned with what you truly want. You feel the pull of instant gratification. Instead, you pause, check in with yourself and say – not this time. Yes, there’s guilt. Yes, there’s second guessing. But you choose anyway. That’s accountability to your own alignment.

Here’s the thing about accountability: it’s not punishment. It isn’t shame. It’s noticing the tug, pausing and choosing differently than you did before. And yes it can be messy. Sometimes you fail. That’s why compassion matters. You remind yourself: I’m learning. I’m practicing. I’m human.

Because accountability without compassion? That’s just beating yourself up for being human. But accountability with compassion? That’s how growth happens. That’s how patterns shift. That’s how cumulative results happen. One bite-sized choice at a time. One day at a time.

Every moment is an opportunity to choose yourself. It’s not about getting it perfect every single time — it’s about noticing, pausing, and acting in alignment with the person you’re becoming. That’s the power of accountability paired with compassion.

This is what I teach in my Accountability & Compassion Course: Not abstract theory, but lived practice. Messy. Human. Transformative.

Sharlene