Why Small Steps Matter More Than Perfect Discipline

Accountability & Compassion

I know I’m not the only one when I say that I used to think commitment meant going all in, all the time. If I couldn’t give something hours of my day, I thought it wasn’t worth doing at all. But here’s what I’ve discovered: that mindset sets you up to burn out and quit.

Take language learning, for example. I’ve been learning Spanish for eight years. At first, I was on fire — practicing every day, stacking up progress. Then more than a few times life happened. I went through a breakup, and the last thing I wanted to do was open the app. And when my mother passed away, do you think I felt that keeping up my streak was important? Absolutely not.

But some days, I still showed up — even if it was just one minute. Just enough to check the box. And that small action carried me forward.

The lesson: bite-sized commitment builds trust

What mattered wasn’t doing it “perfectly.” What mattered was choosing to show up for myself in a way I could handle. Each time I did, I was proving to myself: I don’t give up on me.

That’s the key. Small steps, repeated, add up. They regulate your nervous system. They rebuild trust with yourself. They make the process sustainable.

And on the days you can’t? Compassion matters most.

Here’s the other side of it: sometimes, even one-minute feels impossible. On those days, the work isn’t pushing through — the work is compassion.

It’s saying: Today I did my best with what I had. I needed my energy just to get through the day. And that is enough.

That’s accountability and compassion working together. Accountability says: I value my commitments. Compassion says: And I value myself too much to shame myself when I need rest.

It’s not about getting it perfect

I want to be clear: I still struggle with this too. Depending on what’s happening in my life, I sometimes have to remind myself to just come back to the basics.

And just because we notice the pattern and choose differently a few times doesn’t mean the old habits disappear overnight. We’ve spent our whole lives wiring certain pathways into our brains. Rewiring takes time and practice. This work isn’t about fixing it once and for all — it’s about learning to meet ourselves with kindness every time it shows up again.

Commitment isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. Some days, that’s a few minutes. Some days, it’s simply offering yourself compassion instead of criticism. Both count. Both move you forward.

And when those small, compassionate steps build up over time, the results will show themselves.

This is the heart of what I teach in my Accountability & Compassion Course. It’s not about punishing yourself into discipline — it’s about creating trust with yourself, one small, sustainable step at a time.

Sharlene